The Bird's the Word
by Red Witch
Summary: Shipwreck's parrot runs amok in this short pointless fic.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I thought it was time I wrote a Shipwreck story and a member of the team that has been mostly unnoticed. (Yes I am talking about Polly. By the way does anyone know for certain if Polly's male or female? I've heard this bird described as both. Just wondering.)**

**The Bird's The Word**

"Polly get your tail feathers back here right now!"

"Gotta catch me, swabbie! Awk!" Polly flew wildly. 

"Oh I'll catch you all right," Shipwreck fumed. "You winged rat! I'll turn you into a feather duster!" 

"Dream on!" The bird laughed. He circled the rec. room a few times before landing on Lifeline's shoulder. "Hello."

"Hey there Polly," Lifeline petted the bird. "Is Shipwreck teasing you again?"

"Mean Shipwreck," Polly put on his best I-am-an-innocent-little-bird look.

"Hold him Lifeline! I'm gonna make squab outta him!" Shipwreck fumed. "Do you know what that bird brained excuse for a pet did to me? Huh, did you?"

"I'm innocent!" Polly squawked. 

"What happened this time?" Lifeline sighed. 

"Here I am minding my own business," Shipwreck explained. "Talking to Cover Girl when this little traitor flies in and drops on my head…. A certain article of clothing that belonged to her!"

"He! He!" Polly giggled. 

"Do you know how embarrassing that was?" Shipwreck snapped.

"I think I get an idea," Lifeline chuckled.

"And I got blamed for it!" Shipwreck snapped. 

"She wasn't good enough for you anyway," Polly said. 

"I think somebody wants a little attention," Lifeline petted the bird. "Don't you Polly?"

"I just want some love," Polly replied sweetly.

"Oh you'll get love all right," Shipwreck snarled. "Tough love! Come here!"

Shipwreck tackled the bird, but ended up collapsed on top of Lifeline. Polly laughed as he flew away. "See ya around Sucker!" It cackled. 

"You are dead bird! Hear me! Somebody get me some cranberry sauce! Thanksgiving's come early!" Shipwreck fumed.

"Shipwreck don't hurt him!" Lifeline protested.

"He's not gonna hurt him," Alpine told him. "Truth is Shipwreck would never hurt his little buddy. He loves him like a baby."

"More like a mooching third cousin!" Shipwreck snapped.

"Oh come off it Shipwreck! You told me once you always wanted a parrot when you were a kid and owning Polly was a dream come true," Alpine said.

"That was before I found out that parrots live up to a hundred years!" Shipwreck snapped. "Now it's become a nightmare!"

"_Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when I'm sixty four!"_ Polly sang out as it flapped around the room.

"Oh I'll feed you all right!" Shipwreck told Polly. "I'll feed you to the sharks!"

"Shipwreck will you control that stupid squakbox of yours!" Beach Head came in. "There must be some kind of rule that says parrots aren't allowed on bases! Especially ugly crazy ones!"

"Hey!" Shipwreck snapped. "Nobody insults my parrot except me!" 

"Yeah!" The bird snapped. 

"Shipwreck that is a dumb ugly smelly bird!" Beach Head snapped. 

"Uh oh, you shouldn't have said that," Shipwreck smiled when he noticed a wicked gleam in the bird's eye. "I'd apologize if I were you."

"Apologize? To that feather duster? Not on your…AGGGGHHH!" Beach Head screamed as Polly dive bombed him. 

"Dive! Dive!" Polly cackled with glee. 

"Cut it out you stupid bird!" BeachHead shouted. "You're getting feathers all over the place and making a mess!"

"You ain't seen nothing yet!" Polly made another assault. This time he made a different type of attack. 

"Agghh!" Beach Head shouted. "YOU STUPID BIRD!" 

"I hope you know a good dry cleaner Beach Head," Shipwreck laughed. 

"Ahhh! Get him away! Get him away!" Beach Head ran out of the room. "MAD PARROT ON THE LOOSE! HELP!"

"Okay Polly I think he's learned his lesson," Shipwreck held his hand out. Polly flew to him and landed on it. Polly hopped on his shoulder and nuzzled his face. "Good Bird."

"Polly a good bird now?" Polly asked. 

"Yeah," Shipwreck petted Polly. "I forgive ya. Just don't do that again." 

"I'll be good," Polly replied sweetly. 

"Come on," Shipwreck left the room with his pet. 

"That's nice to see them getting along," Lifeline said.

"POLLY YOU CRAZY BIRD!" Shipwreck shouted. 

"I didn't say how long I'd be good!" Polly cackled. 

"It's true," Alpine sighed. "Pets do resemble their owners."


End file.
